Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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