I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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