yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
