You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
