so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
