This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
