He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
