I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
