Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
