she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
