Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
