Got a toothbrush?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
