i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
