I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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