dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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