I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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