Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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