Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize