P.S. I can't hear my feet
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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