I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
