my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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