Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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