Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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