OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
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I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
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Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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