Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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