people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
