Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
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He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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