I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
