Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
