before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
