i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
