I need help removing her.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
