there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.