I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.