The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like