Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"

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  (330): and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!" http://tfl.nu/62xo
  Replies (32) Good night (12421) Bad night (1682)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.

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  (651): nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list. http://tfl.nu/o8v1
  Replies (13) Good night (4025) Bad night (638)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  bl l w

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.

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  (908): bl l w (201): this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel. http://tfl.nu/4an5
  Replies (63) Good night (8650) Bad night (897)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?

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  (678): did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin? http://tfl.nu/67r3
  Replies (29) Good night (4370) Bad night (1224)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.

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  (412): I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is. http://tfl.nu/ejf0
  Replies (12) Good night (5235) Bad night (1440)
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  (516): View more from New York

  nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex

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  (516): nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex http://tfl.nu/zwof
  Replies (9) Good night (3197) Bad night (1212)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe

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  (570): All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe http://tfl.nu/7ueb
  Replies (4) Good night (844) Bad night (1369)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.

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  (252): A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place. http://tfl.nu/7ilw
  Replies (4) Good night (1208) Bad night (461)
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  (415): View more from California

  Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.

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  (415): Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often. http://tfl.nu/cpju
  Replies (4) Good night (955) Bad night (657)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?

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  (702): Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated? http://tfl.nu/6luu
  Replies (2) Good night (696) Bad night (371)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis

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  (306): I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis http://tfl.nu/jni6
  Replies (5) Good night (1253) Bad night (438)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...

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  (978): You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again... http://tfl.nu/9z52
  Replies (3) Good night (821) Bad night (341)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first

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  (321): Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first http://tfl.nu/f0be
  Replies (2) Good night (422) Bad night (379)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you

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  (615): well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you http://tfl.nu/f9wz
  Replies (1) Good night (315) Bad night (484)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment

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  (817): I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment http://tfl.nu/ub19
  Replies (4) Good night (871) Bad night (344)

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