Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️