I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right