Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
