He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
