just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
