I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize