Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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