didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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