she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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