We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
