question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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