I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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