I have demons in me.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
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Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
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For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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