You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
