apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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