I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
40s are totally the cure
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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