A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
