I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
