Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It's just like the Real World with babies
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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