i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
