Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
